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How to Handle a Contested Divorce

How to Handle a Contested Divorce | Jeffrey M. Bloom, West New York, NJ

You’re ready to put that marriage behind you, but your husband or wife isn’t giving up so easily. The Law the Offices of Jeffrey M. Bloom can help. Divorces can notoriously get messy, but they get even more complicated when one person doesn’t want to call it quits. “Contested divorces” are already brimming with animosity, and it’s your best bet to stay as collected and calm as possible (which is much easier with a reputable attorney on your side). It’s not uncommon for spouses facing a divorce to try and hurt one another. This can be done emotionally or financially, such as battling for custody of a pet just to hurt the other person—even though the person asking for custody doesn’t really want the pet. It can quickly become a battle that nobody will win.

When emotions start running high, bear in mind that your spouse (no longer how long you were married) is an expert at pushing your buttons. Retaliating will lead to a downward spiral. If you’re on the receiving end of verbal, emotional or mental abuse during a divorce, you can’t change the actions of your spouse. However, you’re in total control of how you react to it. Staying calm and ignoring what they’re doing is best for you and any children which may be involved.

It can be a challenge, but there are ways to keep your emotions in check and ultimately speed up the fairest divorce proceedings possible.

The New Rules of Divorce

You should stay professional at all times, and not just when working with the court staff members and your attorney. Embrace a professional demeanor with your spouse, too. The less you react, the less likely they are to keep looking for a reaction. If you can, defuse all situations by answering questions quickly and abruptly. You may need to change the subject, or—if your spouse just isn’t cooperating—say that you’d rather all communication take place between your respective attorneys.

Sadly, in some cases, you might find out that your spouse is talking badly about you to your children. Resist the urge to further involve the children or to attack your spouse. Instead, tell your attorney and make sure not to exaggerate. Children shouldn’t be used as pawns in a divorce, and in some states, such an attempt is actually illegal. Don’t reciprocate, and never speak badly of your spouse to your children or in front of them no matter what. Remember: You may live in a state where that can lead to legal charges.

Take Turns – A Good Life Session That Applies During Divorce

A lot of what you learned in Kindergarten can actually be applied to divorce proceedings. For example, always take your turns, don’t yell, and answer any questions asked of you by the judge. Judges are very good at reading between the lines and can tell when one or both spouses are out to get one another.

Sometimes settling leads to the best possible outcome for everybody involved. If you’re interested, talk to your attorney about potential settlement terms. They will then present this to your spouse’s attorney, and perhaps an agreement can be worked out. This saves a lot of time, money and trouble for everyone. Whether your divorce ends in a judgment or settlement, be sure to follow the terms of the letter. Particularly in contested divorces, one or both parties don’t follow the agreement. If you suspect your spouse isn’t following the rules, tell your attorney and let the experts sort things out. Call Bloom Law Office at 855-208-3650 and schedule a consultation.

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