02 Feb Dealing With Your Kids After “Disney-Dad” Strikes Again
In child custody issues, this seems to be one of the single most aggravating problems that divorced moms are left to deal with. Dad strolls in, swoops the kids up, spends the money and then returns them to the reality of a divorce. And, who is left to deal with backlash? It’s maddening and frustrating, yes, but let’s talk about a few strategies to handle the situation.
Letting Go Of Anger in Divorce
As far as being mad about the situation, it’s time make a conscious decision just to let the anger go. It doesn’t serve you well, and the reality is, there is absolutely nothing you can do about how your ex-husband spends his money.
Instead, why not focus that energy on taking care of yourself, learn something new, develop other streams of income, or by developing supportive relationships. While your kids are well taken care of (and maybe even spoiled!) do the same for yourself.
The situation is that for the first time in a long time, or maybe ever, you are now the leading provider. It’s possible that for you, surviving from day to day is a challenge, let alone all the extras that come with having children and all their wants and needs. When you know the kids are having a difficult time, it’s hard to have to say no. After all, we are aware they are hurting, too, And when Dad showers them with gifts and “fun”- well, let’s just call it “challenging.”
Child Custody – What You Can Do Today
Here are a couple of things to encourage and empower you right now. When it comes to the kids, you don’t have to justify or explain to them how you spend your money. It is fully within your power to make those decisions. When you were married, you made joint decisions with your husband without the kid’s input, and now that you are on your own, you still have that right only now you have the opportunity to make smart decisions on your own.
Challenge yourself not to tell the kids that you can’t afford to do something. Claim your power over the situation and rather, state that you are “choosing” not to spend your money on that right now without any apology or excuse. Indeed, the kids will watch your strength and will ultimately respect your courage. They will learn how to handle money responsibly by your example. Let’s face it, they aren’t going always to like it, but teaching moments are rarely popular.
Contact Child Custody Attorney Jeffrey M. Bloom, West New York, NJ
Jeffrey M. Bloom is an experienced Child Custody attorney working on behalf of both parents. Please call our office to schedule a consultation if you’re faced with a child custody situation – (855) 208-3650.