01 Sep Kids Deciding Custody……The Debate Is On
It is easy for divorcing parents to get sucked into the push and pull of the proverbial child custody battle. Each parent vying for primary custody, which, more often than not, results in joint custody. This arrangement means shuffling the children back and forth between two residents. And through all the decision making the kids are rarely asked what they want to do and with whom they would prefer to live.
Divorce obviously has ramifications. But these can be minimized with conversations with your kids. Of course, with younger children this would not be feasible, but as the children grow into teenagers and their lives become busy and they become socially involved, they should be allowed to have input and some control over their environment. Homework will increase as well as extracurricular activities, and honestly, just the aspect of gathering their “stuff” and dragging everything from one residence to another becomes a huge challenge. Additionally, if the child is not on board with one of the parents, it becomes even more difficult and he / she may become resentful and ultimately behavior problems can set in.
Put Children’s Happiness First In Divorce
With teenage kids, it’s time to set the ego aside and give your kid a chance to speak openly and freely about their living arrangements. Of course it hurts to give up time with your child, but ultimately letting go, even just a little, is the best way to show your love for them….putting their happiness first. Navigating through these years is difficult, whether or not there is a divorce, but a successful long term child- parent relationship always comes when the child knows that their feelings are being respected and taken seriously.
The whole focus should be to talk openly and honestly and to be a model of compromise. Custodial compromise with your ex regarding the children will lead not only to a calmer day to day existence, but also will ultimately lead to a stronger relationship with your child.
Child Custody Attorney in West New York | Jeffrey M. Bloom
If you find yourself in a position where legal advice is needed regarding divorce and child custodial issues, contact The Law Offices of Jeffrey M. Bloom. We’re here to help with questions and concerns and assist you in navigating through the custodial dilemma you may be facing – (855) 208-3650.